Es cara bajo

My body is a hematoma.

Like an escarabajo,

I want to kick up sand with my legs

dig into the cool earth

and rest still

underground

get spent in the digging,

stop to feel

the blanket over the bruise,

tickle me silent.

-

My sister has been eating frutas maceradas

you left in a jar inside your fridge.

“Me voy a comer a mi mamá!”

she said on the phone when I asked how she was doing. You'd always bake a fruit cake

for her to eat the whole thing in a day.

But we'd lived too many years in different countries and your voice was the only thing I'd eat.

Let me drop inside the earth,

drown out all that's become noise

and hear my body disintegrate

as I find your ash in every river

— drink all of that water.